Archive for Comment Spam for Advanced Users – Complex and Nuanced Subjects that Require a Complete Reading to Fully Understand and Preferably a Mastery of the English Language

Resume Writing Rule – Don’t Use Common Abbreviations and Acronyms

Be careful when using common abbreviations and acronyms. Misuse them and you may come off as a doofus.

For example, in a resume never use LMFAO as it is too casual. Always spell it out completely.

Bad: I have over 25 years experience with iPhone application development, LMFAO!

Good: I have over 25 years experience with iPhone application development, laugh my fucking ass off!

Note: If you are applying for a job in the UK, or one of its former colonies, use the Queen’s English and use arse instead of ass. This will demonstrate your sophistication and your flexibility.

Mayan Cocksucker 2012 Email Virus is a Hoax!!!

If your receive this chain email it is a hoax:

WARNING!!!!

Between now and December 31st, 2011, do not open an email with the subject line “Mayan Cocksucker 2012”!!!!

I checked Snopes and it’s not a hoax, it is for like totally real I swear! My husband is a cop and he even confirmed this is real.

If you open the email it will unleash a virus that will first delete all your registries and then set your C drive on fire! Several people have already been burned alive after their C drive set their entire work station on fire. They would have lived but they tried to check their email just one more time before their computer completely melted and the flames overcame them.

Then after your C drive is completely melted, the ghost of an ancient Mayan Prince will appear, jerk off, and shoot his hot cum all over your keyboard!

Then your computer will send the virus to everyone in your Outlook address book and charge $2012.00 worth of pink and blue Crocs® on your credit card!!!!

I repeat, DO NOT OPEN AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT LINE “MAYAN COCKSUCKER 2012”

IN FACT IF YOU GET THAT EMAIL YOU MIGHT AS WELL THROW OUT YOUR COMPUTER BECAUSE YOU ARE TOTALLY FUCKED ANYWAY!!!!!!!!

We know this is a hoax because it is impossible for your computer to send out emails and charge your credit card after the C drive has melted. Can’t happen.

This Post is Not Factual…It’s Just an Opinion

This post does not contain any substantiated facts. It is totally comprised of opinion and conjecture. And that’s the absolute truth!

Saturday Night Really Is Alright for Fighting

Did you know the Saturday night really is alright for fighting? Not in a legal sense, I’m speaking in a  cultural sense of course. Assault is still against the law. It’s just that if one was to engage in fighting, Saturday night would be a good time to schedule those activities as many others are also planning to fight at that time, so you’ll have many willing partners to choose from. Especially if there is easy access to alcohol.

European Metric Time Versus American Standard Time

In the United States we us standard time but in Europe they use metric time. There are 100 metric seconds in a metric minute. There are 100 metric minutes in a metric hour. And there are 10 metric hours in a metric day. This is why Europeans take such long lunches. To them it’s only an hour but to use it’s like three hours, so to Americans, European workers seem rather lazy and self indulgent. Especially the French. Though that is not related to their long lunches and is more of an attitude thing.

How to Avoid Getting Your Ass Kicked – Tips and Tricks for Avoiding a Fight

When someone in a nightclub  says “What are you looking at faggot?” do not answer back “Nothing”. It may seem like a logical and reasonable response but it will only provoke the person.

Instead say something like “Oh, sorry dude, I was just trippin’…I think I need to stop mixing alcohol with my meds”.

The reason is that the question is really a rhetorical device designed to provoke a response. You are being challenged. It’s a test. If you answer wrong you will get beat up. If you answer correctly he will move on to something else because you will have reaffirmed his status as an alpha male. So make sure you answer correctly.